When you lose someone close to you it doesn’t matter who it is, a parent, child, brother, sister, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or friend, the grief can be overwhelming. And intellectually we know we have to deal with it. We have to get through it and get a handle on it but when we’re in the middle of it, we don’t always know how to do that. So here are some things to think about. Things you can try to help you get a handle on the grief so you feel like you have the ability to work your way through it.
Scent is very powerful. A remembered scent can bring up memories that have been lost for decades. Memories that when you smell that scent, come back so strong you feel like the memory was from yesterday. The right scents can be one of the best ways to help you get through grief. So first, what scents help you feel calm? Grounded? Happy? At peace? What are your favorite scents? If a scent is used that makes you feel happy and calm, that can help to ground you in your grief. Help you feel normal again.
Grief can be debilitating if it goes unchecked, but there are things you can do that will help you get through the grief rather than be stopped by it. And there is a great strength to be had in scents.
These are a few ideas to consider when choosing what oils will help you the most.
Bergamot, Rose, Cypress, Clary Sage, Nutmeg, Vanilla, Roman Chamomile, Frankincense, Hyssop, Juniper Berry, Lavender, Patchouli, Geranium, Rose Geranium, Marjoram, Jasmine, Melissa, Neroli, Vetiver, Helichrysum Gymnocephalum, any citrus
How to use
You can use these in a variety of ways.
- You can diffuse them.
- Massage oil with some F.C.O. (Fractionated Coconut Oil) and/or Jojoba into the bottoms of your feet. (Just make sure to test out on a small part of skin first.)
- Use in a bath.
- Add 5-10 drops of oil or oils to 1 cup of water, put in a spray bottle and spritz the air in your room.
- Use a blend in a full body massage.
- Wear as a perfume.
- Or just keep the bottle with you and open it and sniff periodically.
- Book an appointment with an aromatherapy treatment. The therapist will select oils to treat you holistically, dealing with the whole person rather than just the symptoms of grief.
- Rose is one of the best oils to help work through grief.
Your best bet is to use them the way you prefer to use oils the most. For that will be most comfortable for you.
Here are a few suggestions from RMO family members on Facebook
- VL: “I think the very best oils at this time would be those that carry the fragrance of a much earlier time in this persons life. Aroma’s that are attached to time and season in a personal way tailored to each individual can lend themselves to a progression in time, that can aid in the process of coming to the “now” at that terrible stricken moment of loss. Some oils that carry calm & peaceful aromas are Almond & Lavender, Rose and fruit blossoms. I have found earthy wood smells to be strengthening, crisp mints and Rosemary to be stimulating and freshening.”
- MBC: “Bergamot applied to earlobes and Tangerine diffused.”
- CSN: “I have used Geranium. It is sooo great for helping to release bottled up emotion, then layer some Lavender to help with calming down.
- SWKD: “For dealing with the stress, I’d use Lavender and Chamomile. Put in a spray bottle or diffuser.”
- LJ: “Resolve rubbed into the bottom of feet!”
- ARL: “A good friend of mine just lost her husband to pancreatic cancer. She is devastated. I have been doing Reiki (massage) on her with the application of RMOs. The one that seems to work the best in relaxing her is Guardian Angel.”
- SG: “I like Journey for this. The name alone makes me feel hopeful and the scent has a nice grounding feel to it. It makes me feel like I can pick myself up and keep going.”
We hope this helps you on your path of grieving. While no oil can cure you of the grief, they can help you deal with the grief. They can help you reach the point where you feel strong enough to still live your life.